


The Mirror and the Light of the Skies

by Lindenbay



Series: Moonlight Drawn Beneath the Clouds [1]
Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Character Study, Domestic Disharmony, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Historical Fantasy, Inuyasha Prequel, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:49:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27784777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lindenbay/pseuds/Lindenbay
Summary: A companion prequel story exploring the deterioration of a relationship between the Inu no Taisho and Sesshomaru's Mother.
Relationships: Inu no Taishou/Sesshoumaru's Mother
Series: Moonlight Drawn Beneath the Clouds [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2032705
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	The Mirror and the Light of the Skies

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings and Reality PSA: Readers, this story contains some explicit sexual content, strong language, violence, and domestic disharmony. This story also contains a minor spoiler to Yashahime. Please be advised.

_Artist Credit: Unknown_

* * *

  
  


When she first laid eyes on him, she knew they were perfect for each other. From that day on, one way or the other, she would get what she wanted. 

Her looks in those days were not so different as they were now, centuries later. Apart from a girlish softness in her cheeks and a youthful brightness in her eyes then, her hair was still the same lustrous silver like his own. Her smile, form, and stature was as it was today: bewitching, graceful, tall. Right away at first glance, she knew if they stood next to each other, they would make a fine pair. Like two stars cut from the same brilliant cloth with their matching golden eyes and moonlit manes. 

Back then, he wasn’t called the Inu no Taisho and was known only by his birth name. He had not earned the right nor was he the guardian of the west. That came much later. 

He was the latest in a string of celestial hounds that had been sparingly born within their clans but had shown great promise, outdoing even his contemporaries. 

By the time she crossed paths with him, he had already distinguished himself in a number of decisive battles against both demon and mankind. Half of the western coast essentially became his territory before he reached his two-hundredth year and his army was one of the largest in the archipelago. 

If that wasn’t enough to whet her appetite, he was singularly the most beautiful creature she had ever seen. A real prize to be won, for sure, and all others in comparison were mere shadows. He was a born leader. The mirror and light of all other kings and she was determined to be his queen. 

When she made her preference known to her clan, they initially hesitated on the grounds that he was a well-established oddity. They told her so and pointed out numerous examples. He was of a solitary nature. If he wanted company, he sought other demons and sometimes humans instead of his own illustrious kin. Yes, he was an extraordinarily gifted commander but he never held down his wins or expanded upon them when he had proven time and time again he absolutely could. His restraint was...mystifying. Concerning. 

“That’s because these victories are simply not enough.” She had confidently explained it away. “He’s dissatisfied. He wants bigger, far better gains and I can help him get them if we were joined together as mates.” 

With such a ringing endorsement, her family eventually came around to support the match and pressed the suit to him, spelling out all the major benefits that would come from their union. They offered a castle in the sky and gold. They promised more soldiers and assured him his mate was one of unparalleled beauty and strength. 

Anything to get him to agree. 

_Your children will be silver sons and golden daughters_ , they said, _who will reign this earth as mighty scions over your empire._

There was a lone voice who objected to the entire enterprise and it was the one that mattered the least to her at the time: her own siress. 

“What does he _really_ want?” The siress intently questioned. 

“Isn’t it obvious? He means to make the island his.” She had snapped then, irritated and wondering where this doubt was coming from. 

“That is what _you_ desire.” The siress coldly spelled it out for her. “But it’s clear he doesn’t think the same way as you do. His wants and needs are entirely different from your own.” 

_Oh, how wrong you are, Lady Mother._

“This _will_ happen.” She declared. “I mean to have him.” 

To which the siress had laughed mirthlessly and shrugged her pretty shoulders, seeing there was no way getting around it. 

“On your own head, be it, daughter mine.” 

* * *

  
  


They met again on the next full moon at her palace in the clouds, not as distant kin, but a pair marked for each other. 

At his request, he had asked to see her in private and she laughingly obliged, even as she ridiculed his formality. Why was he even bothering with the pretence? Demons did not ask. They took. This was no betrothal nor a marriage for that matter. It was a mateship, bound by loyalty and blood, without the need for emotional connection. One of the purer examples of the word _efficiency_ , she reckoned. 

She found him waiting for her in one of the smaller courtyards that looked out to a marvellous view of the night sky. All the summer constellations were out in full force, fiercely sparkling in the hot and clear weather. 

“Well, here I am.” She crossed her arms over her silken sleeves, knowing she looked splendid in her amarthine robes. Her trailing golden earrings winked and flashed in the starlight with every slight movement of her head. Openly, she admired him from where she stood, noticing his tall profile and his handsome jawline edged in light from the many lanterns hanging from the eaves of the palace roofs. She could see he had left his armor in favor of princely dark robes that brought out the contrast of his coloring to startling degrees. 

“My lady.” He was all politeness today. 

“I’m no lady.” She smiled. “I’m a bitch, just as you are no lord but a hound.” 

She drew closer as she stepped across the stone pavement, studying him as he intently looked back at her. 

“What is it you want?” She said, tilting her face up at him. “You were the one who asked for this meeting. I came.”

He got straight to the point. 

“I want to know whether or not you really want to do this.” He said. “If, for any reason, the clan is forcing you—” 

She burst out laughing. 

She couldn’t help it. _Force?_ She couldn’t even remember the last time such an occasion had happened where coercion was involved and she had been the victim. 

“Ah, everyone told me you were sophisticated and good with your words but no one said you could be quite funny when you want to be.” She grinned at him. “You do recall that I was the one who explicitly asked for you.” 

His gaze hardened. “Why?” 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Her hands questioningly gestured out to him. “You are the strongest and most powerful of our line. Do you really need to hear anything more?” 

“Are strength and power all that matter to you?” 

“They are the requisites our kind looks for in a mate. You know this.” 

The way he was looking at her now was unusual. There was a strange sadness along with marked disappointment. He wasn’t even trying to hide it. She could not have not known the many hours of introspection he spent and the quiet conferences he had held with his confidants to reach the conclusion he had come to. Like her, he too had known her from afar but had never been in her direct orbit. Yet eventually, how could he have failed _not_ to? She was the quicksilver darling of her clan, sharp in her tongue but clever with an apt mind for tactics and the proud heiress of her natal family’s icy pulchritude. There were few in the world who could compete with her on that score and even fewer who could resist such a creature. 

It was easy to form an attraction but that was where his feelings came to a slow stop, like the waves of an ocean banking against a sea cliff. She was not malicious by nature nor cruel. But she was a demon through and through, with no apparent need or desire than what their kind typically sought after. He could not say the same for himself and knew the difference was likely to be irreconcilable. 

“Were you planning to refuse me?” She pointedly asked. 

“Yes.” 

“Why?” 

“Because we are not suited for one another.” 

“Oh. Is that all?” 

The swiftness in which his demeanor changed from stoicism to glacial coldness was startling. 

“You and I,” he said, “might make each other very unhappy. And neither of us has the patience or tolerance to endure such a thing for a long time.” 

“Our personal feelings have nothing to do with this.” She coolly replied. “By all rights, you and I belong together. You have an army. I can add to that _and_ a palace. I’m also rich, beautiful, and have the best cunt you will ever get to fuck. You would turn all that away for the sake of ‘happiness’?” 

“I don’t need you.” His voice was flat and matter-of-fact. 

“Yes, you do.” She contradicted him as she drew close and looked him eye-to-eye. “Because in order for you to get what you want, you have to ally yourself with me. That’s how this is ever going to work.” 

“What is it that you think I want?” 

“Supreme conquest.” Her eyes gleamed under the starlight. “A throne to seat yourself and a crown for your head. An adventure of a lifetime that won’t bore you and make you feel stagnant. Together, we can have all that.” 

It was a gamble but she was a risk-taker and didn’t shirk away from the fear of potential loss. With deliberate care, she reached for his hand and bade him to look into her luminescent eyes. 

“I’m right, aren’t I?” She let her lashes flicker ever so slightly with haunting slowness. Her lips were lush and full, just bating him for a kiss. 

A smirk curved his blue-streaked cheek. “Not even close.” His murmur pricked at her vanity and she let go of his hand at once. 

“If that were true,” she refused to give in, “you know full well what I offer is far more than you will ever get than with anyone else. Otherwise, you would never have agreed in the first place. So why back out now?”

For a long time, neither said anything and it seemed to her that he was studying her as if he couldn’t quite make out what she was. That annoyed her greatly. He was making this _so_ unnecessarily complicated. 

“I take it you want an empire.” He said at last. 

“Who wouldn’t?” 

“And you think I could give you that.” 

“Yes.” She replied. “I would reciprocate too but you knew that already.” 

He peered after her with his unblinking, steady stare and although she did not know it, he took her word not just in the literal sense but also for a hope that wasn’t ever there in the first place. The truth was he had no inclination to establish an empire and be its ruler. If the histories had taught him anything, it was that such projects never lasted and were often wrought at the enormous expense of innocent lives. How many villages and provinces would have to fall under him to get a hollow crown? What armies would he have to slaughter through for a throne? The whole thing seemed so costly a venture, he struggled to find a compelling justification for it. 

But…

He looked upon this ravishing specimen and her splendid silhouette against the summer moon. As with any man possessing conscience, despite being a demon, he too was susceptible to a weakness for beautiful things. It almost gave the illusion that gifted individuals such as these were also products of high intelligence and keen feeling. Perhaps he could persuade her. Make her look at the world in a different light and convince her there were far better goals than pretending to be gods. 

She too returned his ardent attention with silent admiration and was already thinking of their next military campaign where they could fight side-by-side. She couldn’t wait to show him her own martial skills which were formidable. The coast was theirs but there were also the grey mountains in the east, watery isles in the north, and verdant forests of the south that were ripe for the taking. The crown jewel of it all was the human capital and in her vision, she imagined seeing him walk up the steps to the nine-fold palace where the chrysanthemum throne was kept. 

And she would be right there, next to him, as his sole empress. 

“So,” her silvery voice rang out to him in the night, “will you accept my partnership?” 

They stood across from each other in expectant silence until he stepped forward and his hands closed about her waist, drawing her to him. As her head fell back, their lips met in a heady kiss, signifying each other’s consent. 

* * *

  
  


In the course of several nights, he took her to bed. 

By the end of the month, he then took his place besides her in their seat above the clouds and remained there for the next hundred years. 

What they did together could hardly be called lovemaking. That was reserved for idealistic boys and girls whose heads were easily turned by romantic dreams. But by all the gods, none could have matched them in their passion plays and the throes to which they threw each other in with remarkable ease. She could simply give him a look and have him stripped down by the next moment, in between her thighs, but not entirely at her mercy as she would have liked because he could just as easily push her off and pin her to the mattress of their bed. 

They were equally demanding of one another. Impatiently chasing each other’s mutual wants until they were satisfied. 

Her nails raked across his chest and back, leaving poisoned scars that continued to burn long after he left her sheets. The bite marks she left on his neck whenever she came became bruised testaments of her satisfaction. He liked to fuck her standing up, steadying herself against him as he rode her while they stood in the middle of their rooms until his legs nearly buckled from the hit of his orgasm. She could drive him to the point of bloodlust through calculated strikes onto his body if not his pride. Mastery was an artform in which she excelled but it wasn’t submission she craved. Rather, she enjoyed the wrestle between two powers and its savage struggle. 

Little did she know that it would continue beyond their bedroom. 

It started with the small things. 

Occasionally he would forget to include her in his strategy meetings with his advisers. When she complained, he corrected the omission but lapsed in committing the same error again much to her displeasure. He in turn became bothered by her increasing insistence on expanding his campaigns for bigger swaths of territory than what he deemed was necessary. Their discussions were heated at first but could be forgiven over a nice hunt in the woodlands where they feasted over their latest kill or feverishly rode each other out, as if they could grind off their discontent. 

Disagreements were normal and certainly, they had their fair share yet with no clear resolution. Promises and assurances were not given, not out of spite, but because it was not in their natures to give such things. For understanding was a rare, if not limited, resource. Compromise was itself a foreign concept. 

To her, the very word equated with concession. Defeat. Something she could never, ever accept. 

So it came as a furious shock to her when, after a particularly hostile battle against Kirinmaru, that loathsome scourge who kept creeping into the west, she found out her mate had not followed through the original plan they had discussed. 

The day she learned of this disgrace, she stormed into his study. 

“What the _fuck_ were you thinking?” She spat. “Am I to understand that you didn’t kill Kirinmaru, you actually _let him go_?” She was incredulous. 

At her appearance, he rose from his desk where she saw a number of papers and opened books lying out. She had caught him in the middle of a correspondence and that was when she saw a rather hefty looking scroll etched with hundreds of characters. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. 

“He surrendered.” His eyes were hard and cold. “He gave up his fortress to me along with all his men after my seige. There was no need to kill him after all that.” 

_No need?_ It was the stupidest thing she had ever heard in her life. 

“Have you lost your mind?” She shouted. “This isn’t what we agreed to when you left to fight him. By releasing Kirinmaru, you just compromised our region’s security and made us look like a laughingstock to all our kind.” 

“Kirinmaru won’t be a threat to us.” 

“How can you be so sure?” 

“Because he’s already accepted the terms of the treaty.” He pointed to the scroll on his writing desk where she could clearly see Kirinmaru’s distinctive seal affixed at the end of the document along with her mate’s. 

Bile rose in her mouth. “Treaty? What treaty?” 

“He’s agreed to respect the borders to the west and help keep the peace between our tribes.” 

She stared after him in disbelief and it wasn’t until after a long, tense silence had passed that she realized he was being serious. He had every intention of honoring this... _treaty_ ...and was choosing to trust Kirinmaru. Kirinmaru, of all demons. That shadowy, vile misbegotten abortion was going to _help keep the peace_ according to her mate. 

“This is going to come back and haunt us.” She hissed. 

“I assure you it won’t.” For a second, he let his impassive mask slip and she glimpsed his tiredness. Clenching his right hand into a fist, it rested against the parchment as he gazed down at the long list of conditions laid out. 

“I thought you would be with me on this.” He said at last. His voice was low and it filled her with revulsion to see him look so sorrowful that he didn’t have her support. It made him look weak and it disgusted her to see him so. 

“You must be joking.” She snapped. “If I had been there, _if you had simply let me go,_ I would’ve resolved this once and for all. Kirinmaru’s head should be on a spike and instead, he gets to continue to roam free and breathe. I should have gone! I wouldn’t have hesitated like you!” 

“You know why I couldn’t let you fight him.” He was livid now. 

“Because I’m carrying your child?” She scorned. “You think being pregnant would stop me from going after Kirinmaru?”

“I couldn’t put you or the baby at risk like that.” 

“ _Well, thank you for your concern._ ” She sarcastically bit out. “I am so looking forward to the day when I can explain to our son how we lost all of our western provinces to untold dangers because his foolish father decided to trust our former enemy in keeping his word.” 

Then before he could say anything else, she turned away from his study but not before breaking every bookshelf and whatever she could get her hands on. All his damned, precious books on history, science, medicine, war, and the fine arts. _A total waste of time._ Down they went, their pages ripping into shreds as her claws easily cut into their silken bindings. His collection of painted scrolls turned to sad, pathetic lumps of parchment as her poisoned spit ate away at the magnificent landscapes so painstakingly drawn by human masters. Oh, and of course, the fucking poetry. Why would a commander like him expend his energy on something like _that_? 

If she could have burned all their useless words out of this world, she would have. Meaningless rubbish. All of it. It was ludicrous to think this was an accepted form of cultivating one’s mind. That it could somehow provide _a window into the soul_ or so people said. 

Leaves of papers flew down to the floor followed by smashed bits of mahogany and torn books as she raged about the compound then finally swept out in unreconciled fury. 

She thought she had chosen a conqueror. 

Instead, she was beginning to see, he was anything but. 

* * *

The months following their quarrel dragged on in an icy silence that stretched into sheer pettiness as her mood failed to improve. Every day, she tried to think of new ways to punish him for his treaty with Kirinmaru which had been formally signed off then sealed with a toast. Out of principle, she refused to attend the ceremony and the banquet that followed afterwards, preferring to remain in her rooms all day. 

If he came to her wing of the palace, she had her servants turn him away. There was nothing more that gave her sadistic pleasure than smelling his arousal and knowing she had denied him. She also took every opportunity to either insult or block any dignitaries from Kirinmaru if they came to their court. Whether it was purposefully making them wait for hours in the main hall while she failed to make an appearance or openly belittling them, the slights got so bad that her mate, who was supremely annoyed by her antics, had to step in directly to prevent things from escalating. 

After a particularly bad spat, in which he accused her of not doing her part in ensuring the treaty was a success, she responded by ordering a clandestine raid in one of the human villages that was known to be under Kirinmaru’s jurisdiction. Her soldiers brought back live tributes, mostly frightened human girls, and she made the pathetic little orphans her personal attendants. They grovelled around her in total, obedient silence and were on their hands or knees much of the day, tending to her every whim. 

This set her mate off in such a way that she was inclined to repeat her actions. Amused, she watched him rage and shout at her as he threw around adjectives like _disgraceful_ and _barbaric._

“Release them at once.” He demanded. 

“Why? They’re amazingly cheap labor and heaven knows, we need more servants.” She yawned off his outrage. 

Instead, he ordered the rest of the staff to prepare the girls for travel and that he himself would escort them back home. Anyone who tried to harm them would have to answer to him personally. The threat alone was enough to send everyone in a panic as they scrambled to do as he bid. 

As he gave his commands, his eyes never left hers and regarded her as though she was a monstrous opponent he had to defeat. 

For a moment, she even thought he would attack her but he kept his anger in check. A marvelous feat of self control, for a demon of his stature. But, and here she would sigh dramatically, then again, she was heavily pregnant. 

When she finally gave birth, it happened under such tranquil conditions compared to the havoc wreaked during her pregnancy that she almost felt disoriented by the contrast. It was a calm spring morning with the softest of sunlights and the day had broken like some gentle dream. 

Her son was perfection itself, everyone said so. A baby who appeared to be more gorgeous than either of his splendid parents if that was possible. His tiny body was wrapped in the finest of linens and a blanket stitched in gold thread as befitting an imperial prince. In this setting, the baby’s handsome features looked even more pronounced and to her immense satisfaction, her little boy could not have struck a more admirable image of sublime, infantile beauty. 

The moment she put the child in her mate’s arms, she was taken aback by the noticeable change in his entire expression. It was so…

She cocked her head, trying to figure it out. 

Gentle. Yes, that was the word. 

She watched him hold the baby like the boy was made of glass and found it most peculiar. Did he think their son was sickly? Why was he touching him with such care? Their boy was sturdy and virile, his very bones were made of iron and vibrant blood ran in his little veins. He was going to flourish. She was very confident of that and was rather annoyed at her mate, wondering if he was doubting the health of her stock. 

“He is the picture of health.” She pointedly remarked from her bed. “In no time, he’ll be running circles around you.” 

“I don’t doubt that.” Her mate said. He gazed at their infant son for a few more minutes, mesmerized, then slowly raised his head with a motion akin to a swimmer rising to the surface from the depths of an ocean. “...how are you feeling now? I was told you had a relatively easy time of it.” 

She shrugged. “It was nothing. A little pain here and there. Quite messy.” 

Then to her surprise, he walked over to her bedside and still grasping their son to him, he reached over to take her hand then bent his head to kiss it. 

“You did well.” His smile was warm which confused her.

“I don’t want to do this again.” She said as she withdrew her hand from his. Compounding her bemusement, at her words, she saw his eyes darken and a real shadow pass over his face. All the peaceful joy from earlier seemed to have vanished into thin air and seeing his disappointment only ignited her indignation. 

“I’ve given you a son. Someone to pass your name and legacy on.” She kept her voice low so as not to wake the baby. “As far as I’m concerned, I did my duty. We don’t need any more children. This one will be enough for both of us.” 

Neither spoke for a very long while until she grew restless then motioned for him to give back their infant son which he obliged. When the boy was in her arms again, her mate straightened himself but would not look away from them. As if he was trying to memorize this exact sight, now knowing it would never be repeated. 

It occurred to her, then, for the first time in their years together that he had actually wanted this. Perhaps more than she did. 

Uneasy, she tried to steer the conversation into another topic. “I’ve also named him.” She looked down at their sleeping child. “Sesshomaru. It rolls nicely off the tongue, doesn’t it?” 

Her mate’s brow creased. “It’s rather unusual.” 

“Nonsense. It suits him perfectly.” 

“If that is your wish.” She could see he was quickly returning to his cool, polite shell. 

“It is.” She insisted and as she spoke, she felt the baby starting to wriggle around and could tell he was about to cry. His pale face was screwing up under the threat of tears. 

Her mate, too, became alert by his son’s distress and drew close only to be stopped by her hand. 

“Leave. I need to feed him.” 

His eyes flickered over to the baby’s tiny hands where he knew the claws were. They were quite soft and ever so delicate but still capable of drawing a few bloody scratches if one wasn’t careful. 

“Let me help you.” 

“Only one of us can nurse our son and it definitely isn’t you.” She said in withering condescension. “Now go. I can do this on my own.” 

He withdrew. Motioning for the rest of her attendants to depart with him, they retreated from the inner chamber. He was the last to leave and just before the screens closed shut behind him, his last glimpse of her was sitting in her great white bed with her glinting hair falling over their son as she held the baby to her chest.

The very image of her, cradling their child with beatific tenderness, was enough to make something tremble deep within him. 

In that moment, neither could have imagined it would be centuries before he would get to experience this again although under very different circumstances. Nor could they have predicted that his next child would be born to a woman whose love would eclipse his heart and bring him to his total ruin. 

* * *

When Sesshomaru is only knee-high, they are forced to reckon with another challenge. This time, it came from the continent. 

Emboldened by the increasing hostilities and resulting instability raging about the island archipelago, Hyōga and his mongol army dared to cross the channel. 

At once, preparations were made and all their known banners were called to the front. 

She saw him even less as he ensconced himself in hours-long conferences with his generals or made necessary trips to the coast. In turn, she summoned all the demon-lords of their provinces and each week, she reconnected with him so they could update each other on what was happening at home as well as abroad. There was little time for anything else apart from those meetings with an occasional spare hour here and there. They rarely saw their son in those days which she didn’t mind as much as her mate did. The day he left for the warfront, all he would talk to her was about Sesshomaru and her own welfare when there were so many other pressing matters to discuss. 

“If Hyōga crosses the border and the palace defenses prove inadequate, don’t hesitate to abandon the skies. Keep our son close with you.” He warned her as they stepped out into the main courtyard. The afternoon sun glinted off his armor as he finished tying on his vambraces on his forearms. 

“I can take on a pesky moth.” She dismissively replied. “He wouldn’t stand a chance against me. _If_ he even makes it up here.” 

His worried glance almost made her want to slap him for his impertinent doubt. 

“I fight just as well as you.” She coldly reminded him. 

“Yes, but—” 

“But what?” 

Losing his patience, he grabbed her arm and pulled her close just enough to whisper into her ear. “I know.”

She wanted to murder him on the spot right then and there. Slowly, he withdrew and looked at her directly. 

“Did you honestly think I wasn’t going to find out?” His grip tightened. “How long have you known? And don’t lie about it.” 

“A few months.” She archly replied. 

“Are you well?” 

“Thanks to you, no, I am not.” She finally snapped. “How many times have we been through this? _I don’t want any more children_ yet you saw fit to ignore my express wishes. Do you think I enjoy being pregnant again? You stupid fool. If you want a baby so badly, try having one yourself. Or better yet, feel free to sire on any other female. I’m sure Sesshomaru would be _thrilled_ to have bastard brothers and sisters to play with.” 

She threw off his arm in anger. 

“I understand this wasn’t what you hoped for but I wasn’t expecting this either.” He was visibly frustrated and irritated by her irrational temper. “I cannot have you anywhere near harm’s way. If anything were to happen to you…” 

“You still have your heir.” She shot back. “Sesshomaru is a child but no weakling.” 

“That’s not what I meant.” 

Then as if she hadn't had enough surprises for one day, she felt the palm of his hand cup her cheek while his thumb gently guided her chin as he bade her to look at him. His golden gaze was darkened in real concern. 

“Can’t you see that I care about you and our family?” He quietly asked her. 

“This isn’t the time for sentiment.” She wrenched away from his grasp. “We’re at war or have you forgotten that? Concentrate on holding the line and leave me to secure the homefront, _as we discussed_. It doesn’t matter what state I’m in. This has to happen and we both know it.” 

He clenched his jaw but the effect of her cruelly sober reminder was enough to push him back into his glacial coldness once more. Turning away from her, he walked down the long wide steps of the main compound then straight into the palatial courtyard. 

Her gaze went from the horizon to the sky itself as she watched the distant figure of a titanic white dog ascend into the clouds, its mane glimmering in the last light of the day. 

She did not send a prayer or kiss in the wake of his leave, for such a thing was deemed unnecessary. 

He would return.

She knew that and was hellbent on ensuring he would still have an intact region to come home to when all was said and done. 

* * *

  
  
  


By winter, after an arduous season of ferocious fighting, some of the moths are able to break through the battle lines and encroach upon the west. 

It gives her the opportunity to dispel her frustration at being marooned at home and she takes it up with enthusiasm. There was nothing more satisfying to her in the world than to see an enemy fall under her wrath. Her mate has an unusual predilection for using swords and wearing armor like humans did but she prefers the old-fashioned way of using her own claws or teeth which is why her best fighting form is when she transforms. 

Against her mate’s wishes, she made the decision to take Sesshomaru with her so he could watch and learn. She even had him try a hand at fighting one of the lowlier demons and at one point, even had him at her side. She knew he could hold out on his own and besides, she was there too. A mother like her would never have allowed anything terrible to happen to her offspring. 

After an all-night battle, she returned to her palace feeling exhilarated by what she considered to be a trifling exercise. Sending Sesshomaru back to his nursery and returning to her own rooms, she was in the middle of being dressed down for bed, one of her attendants suddenly screamed as they took off the last of her clothes. 

Deep, red blood ran like streams along the long lengths of her pale legs. 

“Your ladyship!” All of her attendants fell around her in despair and horror, thinking she had been wounded. 

“You silly little hens, stop wailing!” She shouted at them, causing everyone to immediately shut up. Snapping her fingers, she made them draw a bath and for the next hour, they washed off the blood on her body and combed her hair in tear-stained silence. On occasion, she felt extremely sharp cramps that came from deep within her belly and would have cried out had it not been for her iron will. Gripping the edges of her tub, she watched as blooms of clotted blood fell out between her legs and pinkened her bathwater. In disgust, she got out and wrapping herself in clean linens, she ordered all of her attendants to leave her alone. 

But not before she asked them to fulfil one request. 

“Bring Sesshomaru to me.” Her face was as cold and bright as the moon itself. 

Her attendants looked at one another, completely flustered. She had never asked this of them before. Usually, if she wanted to see her son, she would visit him in the nursery or meet with him in one of the pavilions. This sudden, unexpected request unnerved them. 

“My lady, it’s quite late and he was put to bed hours ago—” One of the attendants began to say. 

“I don’t care.” She cut her off and made it clear her word was final. 

When they brought the boy, carried in with his blankets and dozing off in quiet slumber, she sent them all away. After setting her sleeping son down into her bed, she went around locking all the screens to a close and now ensuring she was truly alone, she curled up beside him. 

Affixing her gaze on Sesshomaru’s blankly peaceful face, she allowed herself to cradle her firstborn close as she closed her eyes and slept away the mild disappointment of losing her second. 

She refused to cry. What good would that have done? 

It wasn’t going to bring anything back anyway. 

* * *

It is months, years later when she sees her mate again. 

Time passed differently for their kind and as the decades slipped through their fingers like running water, so too did their mutual tolerance for one another. 

She kept her letters brief to him and dutifully sent the reports he needed but made no mention of the loss. 

He, of course, heard of it anyway and when he returned at last after resoundly defeating Hyōga, he could not have made himself more plain that he blamed her. The moment they saw each other again behind closed doors, it was like the very sight served as tinder to an explosion waiting to happen. 

“This was reckless. Even for you.” Words flew out of his mouth, long after they had gone through the masquerade of a welcome-back for the benefit of the entire palace. 

“ _You weren’t here._ ” She hissed back. “I did what I had to so don’t you dare throw that accusation at me. Whether I was pregnant or not, I still had to defend our home, you fucking bastard. And this is the thanks I get?!” 

“You expect gratitude?” He derided. 

“I demand honor and respect, neither of which you’ve given me since we formed this alliance.” Her voice was cold. “I fulfilled my end of the bargain but you have not and never will. I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to realize it.” 

He raised a finger to make a point. “I told you this from the beginning. I warned you.” 

“Spare me your noble aspirations! Can you, for once, look around and see things as they are instead of what you want them to be? You think you can build a world of beauty and grace, like the kind you read about in your books, but these things won’t help us survive. If you truly care for me as you say you do, if you really want to protect our family, you would ensure we had lands. Titles. A throne to keep us all safe.” 

“ _I do care!”_ He shouted. “But what you’re asking for isn’t going to safeguard us in the way that you think! It’ll only bring on unimaginable dangers.” 

“We can take them on!” His resistance was something else to behold, nearly enough to make her tear her hair out. 

“Then you’re stupider than I thought. After all, only an idiot would have thrown herself in the middle of a battle and endanger the lives of _both_ her children.”

She lost her temper then. In a rage, they roared at each other, both of their eyes turning scarlet as their fury overtook their better senses. Without thinking, he grabbed her wrist which she flung aside and responded with a violent slap across his face. Swiftly, he pushed her against a wall and as if to arrest her in one place so as to contain a storm, he locked her there using his own body and the sheer force of his hands. 

“You put yourself and our son at risk! You could have been killed!” 

“I am _not_ so weak as you make me out to be!” 

“ _Why did you fight them?_ You didn’t need to! You could’ve asked for help or sent for me!” 

“Oh, yes, how foolish of me to not call upon my mate who was halfway in the channel with his entire army.” 

“You shouldn’t have brought Sesshomaru with you. He’s too young.” 

“He needs to learn! If not from his father who fails to act, he can watch his mother do what it takes to rule.” 

They glared at one another, enraged. 

“Tell me,” his harsh voice burned in her ear, “was it a boy or a girl?” 

“It doesn’t matter—” 

The pale gold marble shattered next to her into a sickening web-like pattern of cracks as his fist landed deep into the wall. 

_“Tell me.”_

She looked intently at him, noting the beastly changes in his countenance that had twisted all of his best features into a demonic dog. His teeth were bared out, both fangs glistening with dark promise and his claws had lengthened into a deadly reach. 

_I would’ve made you a king._ She thought in bitter disgust. _The world would have been ours and instead, all you care about are the little things of no consequence._

Feeling as if the revulsion within her was too much to restrain any longer, wordlessly, she drew back and spat in his face. 

* * *

  
  


A century went by like a sigh and with it, so did her mate. 

He was called the Inu no Taisho now and demons, low and high, fell at his feet either in supplication or by defeat. 

It was not the title she hoped for. Not even close and she still had to settle for _my lady._

They no longer shared a bed, they were well past that now, but still communicated whether by letter or a rare meeting here and there if something had to be discussed in person. His stays at her palace grew shorter as he spent more of his time in the west. If she lacked company, she filled it by selecting any number of demon lovers or even from her own personal guard who were only too happy to do as she liked. When the Inu no Taisho returned, and that was becoming a rare event, she vaguely wondered whether he too had taken up with anyone in her absence. There were many who would have been glad to spread their legs for him, there was no doubt on that score, but strangely, he was very quiet about it and said nothing to either confirm or deny. Sometimes she thought she caught a lingering unfamiliar scent on his shoulder or right at the nape of his neck but she wasn’t sure where it was from or how it got there. 

It was more out of curiosity rather than outrage or despair. Highly confident, she knew it would be hard to top someone like her and wondered what sorry soul was being used as his rebound toy. 

Keeping each other at a distance was a means to keep their respective angers at bay for she could no longer promise that she could hold herself back anymore. 

Neither could he. 

Which is why, on a midsummer day, he told her he would be leaving. 

Permanently. 

“Where will you live?” She asked in a rather bored voice when he announced the new arrangements to her. 

“I have a palace now.” He said. “I intend to make it my primary residence, seeing as how I’ve been made the guardian of the west. I need to be closer to earth.”

She raised a brow. “A guardianship is not very much. You’ll be up against the dragon in the east. Wasn’t he just named as well?”

Their conversation lapsed into stiff silence. 

“...you’re welcome to visit if you so choose.” He said at last. “I had a pavilion made up for you and Sesshomaru.” 

“I have no interest in the earthly realm.” She turned to him. “My place is here and so is our son’s.” 

“Not everything worthwhile happens in the heavens.” 

“I disagree.” She gave a jaded smile. “But then again, we always do, don’t we?” 

They stood apart, no longer as mates, but as two rulers estranged in thought but united by blood and a mutual wish for peace. For there was no greater cause than continued stability in the realms and their son’s welfare that could pitch the two to jointly work together. 

Finally, they let each other go, with tepid promises that Sesshomaru would spend equal parts of his time with either parent although she had little intention of letting her boy take up _too_ much of his father’s traits. She had already seen the failures of that experiment and was determined not to let be repeated a second time. 

And as she watched the Inu no Taisho descend the wide stairway of her palace in the clouds, his figure burning into the golden horizon, she thought of all the hopes she and her clan had pinned upon him. 

Those buoyant predictions of his greatness, that promise of a grand adventure in which they would sweep up the island under an imperial crown of their making. He, as their emperor and she, as his empress. 

It all had been an illusion, as light and unlasting as an evanescent dream. 

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_Finis_

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End file.
